I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize