last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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