You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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