Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cropdusted the office
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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