you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
