i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
