I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
