nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
