Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
