Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
