You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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