I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
