we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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