ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
