Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She's not a foreskin expert like you
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
