thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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