the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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