What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
