if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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