VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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