I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
