i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
