It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I smell like Dick and happiness
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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