so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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