It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
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I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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