Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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