You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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