You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
