How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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