K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
