...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
