4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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