Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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