His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
