maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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