i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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