The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
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Hippo gnu deer
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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