I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So vagazzling was a success
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
