Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we have pet lesbian snakes
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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