After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize