Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
