I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
