I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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