Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
