he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
