ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
