I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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