it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
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He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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