i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
