We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
In America we eat man semen.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
