he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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