i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
