sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
