She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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