Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
