Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
