Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize