he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
