I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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